Marriage, Milk and Potatoes

I have been married for 39 years to Janet. I perform lots of weddings and somehow I think weddings are build on the wrong foundations. I can still see those sleep eyes of love that function in most newly weds heads. Love and Sex always begin the journey and there is hope that the emotional love side will always wins out no matter what.

You see most people do not see the "for better or worse" part !! We miss that unfortunately.

But I have come to realize (heaven help me for saying this !!) that most successful marriages are more like a business partnership. Who will pick up the kids. What time will you be back? Will you stop and get the milk and bread? Who is going to get the car fixed? When do we have time for the financial adviser? Who did you say was coming to eat tonight? How many cavities do you have? When was the last time the oil was changed? Did you get the puppy chow?

Well, I think you get the picture. Yesterday was a long day. I got home at 7 from work and "today the painter is coming" which means we must take down all the curtains (I HATE CURTAINS AND BLINDS FROM EVERY SIDE--PUTTING THEM UP OR DOWN OR WHATEVER), move the furniture, take everything out of the room, move all your books (that is always a chore), get rid of all the wires (Janet has always said, "If I knew all the wires came with you I would not have married you."), keep the puppy from chewing up things !! By the time for bed, I was exhausted and today I am to work late again. And yes, I don't have time to call the financial adviser today ! And, oh no, Christmas tree time ! When will we ever have time to put it up.

Until one learns to live through these business dealings of life we will not make it. To me it is the hardest part of marriage, but this morning I am going to visit a man who has been married for 63 years. His wife will probably die in the next few hours. He has not left her side for days. He holds her hand and cries. Sure they probably had their days, business days that were not fun, empty words that drove one crazy, tasks that were impossible to do, curtains to put up, but ABOVE IT ALL THERE WAS ONE THING THAT WAS REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT, "They did it together." Two are better than one says the good book. And the GREATEST BLESSING ANY OF US CAN HAVE is that "someone is there to help us get through the day." That is the true meaning of marriage.