Saddest Day of the Year

Yesterday, January 23rd, was according to newspaper accounts the Saddest Day of the Year. Yes, I felt the sadness, a creeping underlying sense of negatism that frightenly becomes a part of every day.

I don’t know when it began. For me my creativity has gone, my blog numbers are dropping, I have a loss of energy, I walk slower, and I read with less enthusiasm. There are several entries in this combination. For instance, I have been a big reader of the emergent church blogs but lately I have stopped because my interest has waned, or my favorite bloggers say the same thing day after day (me included). There is nothing new under the sun.

Or there is the news. It stays pretty much the same every day beginning with the number of roadside car bombings in Iraq. The numbers have been going up for years. Or there are the atheletics, a new Super Bowl (I couldn’t even remember who won it last year, can you?) is coming, Bobby Bonds tested positive for drugs (surprise surprise), and ten thousand candidates have entered the Presidential Race. It has just begun and I am tired of it. How in heaven’s name can we put up with this for 2 years every day? Why not let them all be President for a month then we could be done with them.

It may not effect you but it does me. Am I just tired or tired of the “same ole thing?” No wonder we are sad. There should be a name for it. We have a non-smoking day, maybe we should have a no news day, no sport day, a day for criminals to rest, con-man day off.

Now, I know you are saying, “who gives you this right to think like this.” You are just not patriotic. Or, where is your monastic spirit, your prayer thoughts, that are supposedly a part of your life?

Maybe it started with a sickness of a dear friend. She is fighting cancer valiantly but losing. There is anticipatory grief, right? Maybe that touches on everything, or someone in the family with a chronic illness, or even the dog that doesn’t obey. What about the hobby that becomes a chore instead of the joy, or is it just the many changes that seem to hit us, the people that leave and are no longer a part of our lives.

And then I read a book, The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. Great book, just depressing as it could be. Her grief after her husband’s death is real but too much for me to handle now. It has colored my thinking for days.

Guess this must end somewhere. I am looking forward to eating with a friend today and there are things to look forward to, just keep the TV cravings off, quit reading the paper, and maybe smile at someone with a frown. Who knows !!!