Patterns

Recently, I have discovered extremely disturbing patterns in my life. For instance, I try to buy a radio for under 50 bucks and end up spending days trying to protect my good name and credit rating. Ebay assumes I am a crook because some idiot in New York is buying things off my account. Every email deals with fraud and says I can't answer it. It is so confusing !! My mind is warped over this. (Oh yeah, "come down to the police station and fill out a complaint," like I have all the free time in the world.)

And family wise health issues worsen !! Every "supposed solution" requires ten intermediate steps that are impossible to accomplish. How many fictious hoops can one go through before totally giving up.

Yes, the deaths get to me. Today has been especially bad. Everyone I come in contact with is dying, or has just died, or expects some heroic miracle that I can bring about by anointing them with oil. I feel like a fake medicine man, like my old hero Panhandle Perkins.

One of my best friends is also dying. I go to meet him for lunch on Saturday.

We were going to Italy this summer but too much is going wrong to even attempt it.

Oh yeah, where is God in all of this? Right, he said, follow me ! Guess he had it pretty rough to!!