Tuesday - 3:12 am
Another sleepless night. Everything is bothering me !! Steve not doing well. In ICU with cancer. Not sure how bad yet, but pretty sure it is worse than they think. Schiavo case bothers me. Idiotic politicians should not be in this. Listening to them on CSPAN is enough to make one throw up. The moral of this is: be sure you have a living will !! (Yes, I have one).
Then happy days are here again, found out I have a line of credit of $4000 without my authorization so that the guy who stole my idenity can buy things on credit WITHOUT MY CREDIT CARD. To make matters worse I can not prove that I AM WHO I AM. Guy wants my drivers license and social security card -- am not sure even he is legitimate, plus I can't find my social security card. Pray for me that I can find my social security card, ok?
Janet is not doing well. Even after a month in the hospital in December, it is bad. Don't know what to do next. Like everything else at this point in our lives, life is going downhill.
As my cousin Sandy (her dad, my uncle, is bad off and her husband is very sick) wrote yesterday, "I thought that life would be so wonderful when I reached the golden oldies. Not so though. I guess it is like Mother Phillips (my grandmother) use to say all the time that life is one battle after another." My brother interprets that another way, "it is one damn thing after another." (Funny, Ronald how that makes sense)
Is it any wonder I feel depressed and live with sleeplessness. Oh yeah, "God is with you, God is with you." Really !!! Ever heard of the dark night of the soul, or My God, My God, why has thou forsaken me?
It is 3:32 am. Will try to sleep again.
posted by Dan Phillips @ 3:12 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Dan, will be praying for you during this tough time.
love and prayers
Gary
And for what it's worth, I prayed for all these things when I read this post.
Praying for you dan.
Dan,
Heh - when I stayed for a few months at a zen monastery the old teacher figured me out fairly quickly! She used to say that when it was pointless to think I would be thinking, and when it was genuinely useful to think I wouldn't bother!
You are the same as me I guess!
The secret is to do some physical work like gardening or something like that, and to stop watching the news on TV and just read a paper or something with less emotional charge! Also pray for help in your problems, but also for the strength to accept whatever God's will brings. You'll be amazed at the strength you will discover!
Its interesting that this week is Easter - where you have the most magnificent example of how to deal with the hardships life can throw at you.
Hope things improve and I am sure they will!
All good wishes,
P.
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