Friday, July 21, 2006

Stressed Out and Thoughts of the Mothership BBQ


Yes, we all have our difficult days. Days when we are misunderstood, days when things tear up, and days when things just don’t go right. For me, my most difficult days relate to patients who are dying. Death can be traumatic for a family and others involved (doctors, nurses, chaplains, etc). Many times I have had several deaths occur on a single day. I have found myself lost in a sea of grief, sometimes even weeping myself over the loss of a patient to whom I have grown close. So Dan, what do you do when you are stressed beyond your capacity to keep going?

To respond I have a mental list of helpers. These are people I go to when I have been through some difficult patients and days of trial. There is a common thread through each of these persons. They usually can tell when it has been tough. They will hug me, some make coffee for me, others bring me blackberries, and some make banana pudding. These persons can ALL appreciate humor, realize how imperfect I am, can make light of even the most critical event, and invite me to their parties. They are usually intelligent in areas in which I am interested, rarely give me advice, know how to take the seriousness of our business and turn it to a morbid humor, smile good, and are genuinely glad to see me.

Through the years Larry Brumfield has been a big help to me. At certain undefined times, when stress may have gotten to both of us, we eat lunch together. Our lunches started out with the goal of eating at every meat and 3 in town. That has gone by the wayside. Now it is mostly at any new diners delight place we hear of. We have learned through the years that eating at a place with valet parking is not the place for us and that, even though someone raves about a place, that does not mean it necessarily meets our approval.

Yesterday, we decided to try out the new Mothership BBQ. According to Yahoo it is 12 minutes away. (It took us 19 minutes). We found it in a 1940s house on Columbine Street in Berry Hill. There were 7-10 people ahead of us. The walls were covered with albums from the 60s, the intercom consisted of a shouting cashier person, and the ribs and pork combination was as good as any I have ever eaten in Nashville. They could work a little on their tea but the BBQ is exceptional.

On our way back we just giggled. We got to thinking of places we had been through the years and came up with out favorites. Certainly the Mothership BBQ is one, so is the White Trash Cafe, and our least favor of all: THE ALL GOOD CAFe. It was so bad that we were the only ones who ate there and we thought the owner was running a bookie joint on the side. Needless to say it is no longer in business.

Anyway, this is to say a BIG THANK YOU to those friends who help me during difficult times. The hugs, the food, the laughter, the invites to the parties, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, that you have time to LISTEN when I have a need. Thanks !!!!

Question: What do you do during the bad days?


At 9:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HE SENDS HIS HELP...........How wonderful that He sends us help (in various forms) when the day is long and the work is heavy. How much 'lift' there is in just being with those in need. Not the words so much...the presence. Without words, it says "I know...I understand...I am here with you all the way." Thank God for the really good people that He sends. 'At all times, I shall bless His my sorrows He came to my aid.'

At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

RELIEF WHEN STRESSED.......Had a friend who was a chaplain in a very large Detroit hospital. I asked him about the stress of the job. He said "You know that I love to go camping...have camped in every state of the union. But also, when the day's grief and frustrations pile up, I go home and pet the dog and feed the tropical fish. Something about the beauty and peace of their world is a tonic for me. I am distracted from the load I have been carrying all day." He is now gone to God but I think of him often and of his great work in the hospital...the patients, the staff, the people who came to the chapel to pray....all were in his loving care and concern.

At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


come and rest awhile -

He calls us each one by name;

come, be with your Love.


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